Ashley L. Fuhrmann - In Memoriam

I certainly never imagined I would ever have to face something like this without Ashley.

Ashley and I met when we were 4 years old. We went to St. Goerge, Eisenhower, Churchill, and even Baylor together. We were Fillies, Dragons, Generals, Chargers, Bears, Daisies, Brownies, Cheerleaders, Acolytes, PALS, and Young Life Officers together. We had a unique friendship that will last forever. In second grade, our friend, Catherine, was taken from us and in third grade, Doug was gone too. We went though these times together and I knew I would never have to go through anything alone. She was such a true and sincere person. She gave more than 100% to everything she did. She was the closest thing to perfection on Earth. When we were in elementary school, I would spend the night every weekend. Doug would come and pick me up and take Ashley and I out for ice cream. And as everyone knows, Ashley would always sleep late. I just wanted her to wake up and play with me so badly. I would nudge her, blow in her face, drip water on her, steal her blankets, and cough really loudly. Anything to get her to come and play with me. When I saw Ashley yesterday, she looked so peaceful, just as she always looked when she slept. I would give anything if only those things would work now. However, she looked as though she were in a peaceful sleep that you wouldn't want to wake someone from.

As sad, mad and confused as we all are right now, we need to be happy for her and celebrate her life. She had no regrets. She died happy......She had just had the week of her life on the cruise. Spence, you cannot imagine how happy we were when you entered her life. We had never seen her happier. She meant so much to you and you meant so much to her. Thank you for loving her the way you did.
Ashley has been everyone's pillar of strength. We shouldn't be mad at God for taking her from us, because she was never really ours to begin with. We should, instead, thank God for sharing her with us for the 19 wonderful years that he did. And Ashley will never be far from us. We are never alone. She is always with us. We have so many pictures, videos and memories of her. She will always be in our hearts, and as long as she is there, she will live forever.

I could go on and on about how Ashley touched everyone and how special she was. She left us so young, beautiful and full of life. How lucky we all are to have shared her life. I would like to read a book that she gave me for my 16th Birthday:

"It feels so good to have a friend...
one on whom you can depend.
A friend can help to mend a heart...
boost you toward a brand new start...
clown with carefree, schoolgirl glee...
share a quiet cup of tea...
nurture you when you feel low...
gossip when they're "in the know"...
celebrate the good times, too...
I know because my friend is you.
Can you come over and play?"

--PALS, by Mary Engelbreit

Father Scotty said to make this about 3- 4 minutes. How do you sum up a lifetime with Ashley in 3-4 minutes. I'll try.

I was there when Ashley came into this world and I was there when Ashley left this world. Ashley was my sister in every meaningful way. Our lives were full of major changes, happy times and extremely sad times just like every one else, but Ashley, Adam, Terrin and I went through these times together. In the past few years our lives went separate ways and we were not able to spend as much time together as we should have or wanted to. I went away to school, got married, got a job and then she went away to school. The miles could not take away a bond that our parents had created.

When Doug died Ashley told me that I was her guardian angel sent to take care of her. It was from that moment on that I knew Ashley and I were going to grow old together.

Ashley wanted so bad to see that bond carried on. She wanted Darryl and I to have a baby. She planned to have our baby in her wedding. That may not happen now, but I know one thing for sure, when we do have a baby, that baby will have the best guardian angel looking out for it. I am counting on that!

Ashley knew how to do two things better than anyone I knew. The first one was to laugh and make others laugh. I have heard that Ashley's friends in high school and college feel the same way. Her laugh was contagious. It was loud. It was happy. It was Ashley. The time I will remember always when Ashley did not laugh, but made us all laugh was this last time that Ricci was in the hospital. An older lady from next door asked Ashley if she could come into Ricci's room. Ashley said "Sure, come on in." The lady came in and proceeded to tell us that she wanted to tell us about something that was very important to her. She wanted to tell us about "Aflac, the insurance." That was it. I started laughing so hard and the lady wanted to know why I was laughing and Ashley with the straightest face told the lady that I was crying because I was so upset about her grandmother. She chatted so seriously with this lady. You could see it in her face that if the lady did not leave soon, Ashley was going to laugh. Eventually, my mom, Dawn and Terrin couldn't hold it in either. They were laughing too, but better able to hide it than I was. When that lady finally left, boy did we get it. Ashley really gave it to us because she couldn't laugh. She had to talk to the lady so we didn't hurt her feelings. When ever have you seen Ashley not able to laugh? I can still hear her finally getting to laugh and we were still laughing about it a few weeks ago at Baylor, the weekend of "Sing".

Ashley also knew how to cry and make others cry. I think it must have been a contest to see which one of us could make the other cry more. I would have to say she was better at it than I was. I went to every cheerleading try out. I had to sit behind or in front of others. Never next to anyone because I was so embarrassed. I didn't want anyone to see that I cried when Ashley cheered. I was so proud of her! I really thought she was the best one out there and it brought tears to my eyes. She knew of course that I did this and she would laugh at me. She wrote beautiful notes that always brought tears. I think she could have written one of those books with pretty sayings. She would have made the whole world cry. Ashley was my maid of honor in our wedding. She was there with me and let me cry on her shoulder, even though I couldn't reach it, during a very difficult time that day. We were there at Baylor to go to "Sing" and watch Ashley. As she tumbled across the floor that one last time, I clapped really loud and yelled out as I always have and cried. I know the people around me must have thought I was insane, but I didn't care. I was so proud of her. We felt bad leaving right after her performance, but I am so glad that we did. She was outside when we came out. That was the last time I saw Ashley. Like I said, between Ashley and I there was an unstated contest to see who could make the other one cry.

Ashley walked into my life at the age of eleven. Ever since that day, my life has been eternally changed, and I know most people can say the same. Looking through old pictures I had the opportunity to see Ashley grow and mature into the poised and sophisticated young woman that she had become. In middle school there was the “Mouth Full of Braces” and “Who can get the Fluffiest Bangs” look. I was so jealous that she got her braces off first, but look at what a beautiful smile they created.

Then we hit high school and we thought we were so mature. As most people know, cheerleading was an immense part of Ashley’s life in high school. She was so incredibly committed, loyal, and giving to the squad and to the school. And I can’t even begin to explain her undying legend that she has left at Churchill High School with cheerleading. Ashley was more than talented; she was a role model, a leader, a bright shining light, and a devoted Charger.

Our moms always said that if it weren’t for Ashley, I would forget my brain everywhere I went. And it was true. If I lost something or needed to know what time to be somewhere, all I had to do is call her. She would see my name on caller ID, pick up the phone, and without even a “Hello”, but with a bit of a laugh, she would just say what she knew I’d be calling her for. “2 o’clock, Saturday, wear your red bow.” She kept my life together, and she always wondered who would take over her job when I went to college.

Over the Christmas break a few of us were eating at Alamo Café’, as usual, and the subject of what we were going to do with our lives came up. At 19, the rest of us had a clue, but not a complete life plan in front of us. Oh, but Ashley did. This girl had her entire future planned. It never phased my mind to doubt that Ashley would achieve this goal, just as she achieved everything else in her life.

Ashley was more than a friend to me was. Her shoulders were always there to cry on, her arms were always open for a hug, her ear was always there to listen to my joys or grieves, and her sincere words kept me going in troubled times. Through her encouragement and faithfulness, I gained strength.

It makes me glad that Ashley was so fortunate to have wonderful friends at Baylor as well. I know she cherished everyone of her friends in and out of her Pi Phi sorority. We will all be eternally grateful to her beloved Spence who brought her incredible joy and months of extraordinary happiness.

Even after her death, Ashley is still teaching me invaluable lessons. Because of her, I will now hang on to hug a little bit longer. I will not hesitate to tell my friends and family that I love them and how much they mean to me. I will not waste my valuable time sweating the small things in life, and when I get down to it, most of my problems are to minute to waste a second thought or a single tear. Our time here on earth can be taken away so suddenly and soon, as it was for Ashley, so I will make the most of what I have and treasure Ashley’s memories.

Ashley came into the world and touched the hearts of so many. The Lord created such a wonderful person, so serving to Him, that I guess he just couldn’t wait to see her.

Lucky me, lucky you. We all have the most beautiful angel looking over us now and forever.